“Tolerations” – the background noise that begs eradication! Thursday, Oct 7 2010

What was that I need to handle?

The recent posts has been about helping ourselves feel good.  There are things in our lives that are like radio static that can have an unsettling feeling – coaches call them “tolerations”. 

 Tolerations are something I work to clear in my own life as well as with clients.  These are the persistent things running in the background of your mind that need doing yet you forget about them until they show their little face.  They are the things you mean to get to yet seem elusive.  One of the ways to identify them is to notice the voices in your head as you go throughout your days.  How often do the same things keep coming up?  

 Tolerations can be any of the following things: 

• A persistent squeak in your car that you only remember when you are driving down the road. 
• A windshield wiper that needs replacing and you only remember when it rains
• A missing button on a favorite suit that you forget about until you go to wear it – again!
• A dripping faucet that you only notice when you can’t fall asleep
• A “serious” conversation you need to have with someone yet you keep putting it off
• Always being late to meet a specific person and you chastise yourself every time
• Overdue books, movies, phone calls, appointments
• Not planning your day and ending up doing every one else’s priorities- on a regular basis
• Not doing the important things first and ending up with all urgent things
• Something you need to return to a friend

  

 What are some of the things you tolerate? 

What purpose does this toleration have in your life? 

What are the benefits of not having them? 

How will being rid of the toleration make a difference in your life? 

 Unlike a habit or a ritual, these are things that can be turned around pretty quickly –It is important to remove them from your life because they do drain energy and steal your focus.  They can interfere with your joy and ability to reach your desired goals.   

Commit to take action  on them now!  Let me know how eliminating them feels for you! 

Thank you for reading this mini-series on ways to improve how you feel about you and your life! 

Kathy

Leave a Response »

 

Developing Habits to Achieve Deep Satisfaction Monday, Oct 4 2010

Winning Habits for You!

 

Building habits and developing rituals are another means of bringing deep satisfaction into your life. They facilitate accomplishing what you set out to do each day.  Some habits take longer to develop while others can happen easily and without much effort on your part.  All it takes is a willingness to begin.  

Staying on the theme of the prior blog – (finishing what you set out to do each day)these are the habits to remove our “undone” frustrations, help us get out of our own way and establish boundaries that prevent unnecessary distractions from others.  

Here are a few things that will be helpful to examine before you create new habits of accomplishment -  

• First identify what gets in your way.
• Clarify the things you can control.
• List the people you will allow to interrupt your actions and why.
• Develop a list of alternative actions.
• Create boundaries for the people who are frequent “intruders” in your day – for example, what times are you available, when is it ok to contact you etc.

   

Next create a list of “whys” you want to do “it” or for “this” to change.  This is the list you go back to when you are tempted to get off course.  The why is what pulls you back.  

Examine the answers to the list above and find the time of day and all the other particulars of your life and decide the process you will take to begin and stick to your new habit.  

Establish a day to begin your new habit or new ritual.  I was reading “Inner Simplicity” by Elaine St. James and came across her piece on creating self-discipline.  She suggested you get a calendar, buy some gold stars and every day you do what you set out to do, put a gold star on that day.   

At the end of the month you want to have “gold stars” on every day.  If not, to establish a new habit or a new routine, you need to begin again.  But wait - all is not lost – you get to see the number of days you had increased satisfaction and celebrate as you begin again determined for an all-star month! 

What are some of the ways you can gain more satisfaction in your day?  How do you go about establishing a new habit or a daily ritual?  How long do you find it takes before it is “second nature”?  

Next…tolerations and how they affect your life…  

Thanks for reading!  

Kathy

3 Responses »

 

What would cause you to feel GREAT if you accomplished it today? Friday, Oct 1 2010

I am learning from coaching others that the everyday things that go unfinished frequently add up to frustrate and create a pattern of dissatisfaction in life.  I thought I would begin some shorter blogs to address some of these common situations…one bite at a time. 

What would cause you to feel great if you accomplished “it” today?  

We set intentions of how we want our day to go and often at the end of the day we realize what we set out to do did not get done.  Has this ever happened to you?  How many times have you had outside distractions pull you away from the very thing that if done would make your day? And one last question, have there been times when you were the one who got in your own way for whatever reason?  

All too often we set out to do something and we don’t do it… 

What are the most frequent reasons we don’t get something done? 

I did it again - two hours on e-mail!

 

• Not a preferred task
• Forget
• Focus
• Unplanned Meetings
• Checking e-mails every time one comes in
• Procrastination
• Interruption

 What is your “favorite” method of distraction? 

 A way out – One way out of this common dilemma is to take the action on that “thing” you know would make your day at your earliest opportunity.  Try it.  

 What is something else you might try to make sure the task, purchase, paper, project, conversation, sale, phone call, appointment, etc, is done today?  

Thanks for reading and adding your thoughts!  Have a great day… 

Kathy 

Next…developing habits that help you stay the course.

2 Responses »