“Tolerations” – the background noise that begs eradication! Thursday, Oct 7 2010

What was that I need to handle?

The recent posts has been about helping ourselves feel good.  There are things in our lives that are like radio static that can have an unsettling feeling – coaches call them “tolerations”. 

 Tolerations are something I work to clear in my own life as well as with clients.  These are the persistent things running in the background of your mind that need doing yet you forget about them until they show their little face.  They are the things you mean to get to yet seem elusive.  One of the ways to identify them is to notice the voices in your head as you go throughout your days.  How often do the same things keep coming up?  

 Tolerations can be any of the following things: 

• A persistent squeak in your car that you only remember when you are driving down the road. 
• A windshield wiper that needs replacing and you only remember when it rains
• A missing button on a favorite suit that you forget about until you go to wear it – again!
• A dripping faucet that you only notice when you can’t fall asleep
• A “serious” conversation you need to have with someone yet you keep putting it off
• Always being late to meet a specific person and you chastise yourself every time
• Overdue books, movies, phone calls, appointments
• Not planning your day and ending up doing every one else’s priorities- on a regular basis
• Not doing the important things first and ending up with all urgent things
• Something you need to return to a friend

  

 What are some of the things you tolerate? 

What purpose does this toleration have in your life? 

What are the benefits of not having them? 

How will being rid of the toleration make a difference in your life? 

 Unlike a habit or a ritual, these are things that can be turned around pretty quickly –It is important to remove them from your life because they do drain energy and steal your focus.  They can interfere with your joy and ability to reach your desired goals.   

Commit to take action  on them now!  Let me know how eliminating them feels for you! 

Thank you for reading this mini-series on ways to improve how you feel about you and your life! 

Kathy

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Developing Habits to Achieve Deep Satisfaction Monday, Oct 4 2010

Winning Habits for You!

 

Building habits and developing rituals are another means of bringing deep satisfaction into your life. They facilitate accomplishing what you set out to do each day.  Some habits take longer to develop while others can happen easily and without much effort on your part.  All it takes is a willingness to begin.  

Staying on the theme of the prior blog – (finishing what you set out to do each day)these are the habits to remove our “undone” frustrations, help us get out of our own way and establish boundaries that prevent unnecessary distractions from others.  

Here are a few things that will be helpful to examine before you create new habits of accomplishment -  

• First identify what gets in your way.
• Clarify the things you can control.
• List the people you will allow to interrupt your actions and why.
• Develop a list of alternative actions.
• Create boundaries for the people who are frequent “intruders” in your day – for example, what times are you available, when is it ok to contact you etc.

   

Next create a list of “whys” you want to do “it” or for “this” to change.  This is the list you go back to when you are tempted to get off course.  The why is what pulls you back.  

Examine the answers to the list above and find the time of day and all the other particulars of your life and decide the process you will take to begin and stick to your new habit.  

Establish a day to begin your new habit or new ritual.  I was reading “Inner Simplicity” by Elaine St. James and came across her piece on creating self-discipline.  She suggested you get a calendar, buy some gold stars and every day you do what you set out to do, put a gold star on that day.   

At the end of the month you want to have “gold stars” on every day.  If not, to establish a new habit or a new routine, you need to begin again.  But wait - all is not lost – you get to see the number of days you had increased satisfaction and celebrate as you begin again determined for an all-star month! 

What are some of the ways you can gain more satisfaction in your day?  How do you go about establishing a new habit or a daily ritual?  How long do you find it takes before it is “second nature”?  

Next…tolerations and how they affect your life…  

Thanks for reading!  

Kathy

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What would cause you to feel GREAT if you accomplished it today? Friday, Oct 1 2010

I am learning from coaching others that the everyday things that go unfinished frequently add up to frustrate and create a pattern of dissatisfaction in life.  I thought I would begin some shorter blogs to address some of these common situations…one bite at a time. 

What would cause you to feel great if you accomplished “it” today?  

We set intentions of how we want our day to go and often at the end of the day we realize what we set out to do did not get done.  Has this ever happened to you?  How many times have you had outside distractions pull you away from the very thing that if done would make your day? And one last question, have there been times when you were the one who got in your own way for whatever reason?  

All too often we set out to do something and we don’t do it… 

What are the most frequent reasons we don’t get something done? 

I did it again - two hours on e-mail!

 

• Not a preferred task
• Forget
• Focus
• Unplanned Meetings
• Checking e-mails every time one comes in
• Procrastination
• Interruption

 What is your “favorite” method of distraction? 

 A way out – One way out of this common dilemma is to take the action on that “thing” you know would make your day at your earliest opportunity.  Try it.  

 What is something else you might try to make sure the task, purchase, paper, project, conversation, sale, phone call, appointment, etc, is done today?  

Thanks for reading and adding your thoughts!  Have a great day… 

Kathy 

Next…developing habits that help you stay the course.

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“Summer Recess for Leaders” Tuesday, Aug 3 2010

Summer Recess for Leaders…

 While I have been absent for a time from writing, I wondered how many leaders take the time to reflect on where they are and where they are going.  After this time away I decided I would begin to encourage leaders to step away from the daily and embrace the idea of a “summer recess”.  I also decided my re-entry to writing would be brief and on the lighter side.

 re·cess (r s s , r -s s ) n.

1. a. A temporary cessation of the customary activities of an engagement, occupation, or pursuit.

b. The period of such cessation.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/recess

Notice it talks about cessation and if you follow the link – suspension… a great visual – suspension, as if hanging in the air without boundaries – total freedom!

What form could your recess possibly take?  What benefit could one gain from such action?

A few thoughts on Form -

• A day at a spa
• A day at the beach – alone
• A brisk walk pondering only one great idea, thought, or possibility
• A week without television, radio, e-mail, newspapers, business reading etc.
• A month abroad in a country with sweeping landscapes, wonderful food and serenity for the senses
• A daring action adventure!

What other forms might your recess take?  How long could you indulge?

 Benefits –

• Rejuvenation
• A new perspective on your life, career or business
• Appreciation
• Gratitude
• Fun
• Laughter
• Joy!
• Rest
• Restoration
• Sanity

 No matter what your position, everyone benefits when you take time away from your dedicated responsibilities.  You get to breathe new life into everything you do.  You may even find some unimportant activities to drop, new ones to start, and others to continue.  Enjoy your recess and drop a comment on what it did for you!

 Thanks for reading!

P.S.  Meanwhile during my “recess”, I worked with a colleague on a program designed for women – check it out …Summertime Sass Series.  It’s about empowerment, connection, and life enrichment.

Kathy

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“That’s Why Pencils Have Erasers” Wednesday, May 12 2010

 

 ”That’s Why Pencils Have Erasers” – Donald L. Holdaway   

  

Erase Away!

 Wisdom from my dad…I was speaking with my dad Sunday and I shared a disappointment/perceived life mistake with him and he said “I’m not sure what to say about that; what comes to mind is “that’s why pencils have erasers”.     

 I reflected on his wisdom after the call and thought how perfect!  How many times in our life do we feel the decisions we have made are irreparable.  We look at the consequences, our present circumstances and wonder how we will ever get out of our own way.  His simple wisdom took years off my life in ways I cannot explain, except the perspective of not “seeing” those things any more because they have been erased, created a blank page for a new beginning.  I yelled a big WAHOO and danced!   

Estatic!

 How many times do you wish you could begin again – even just to re-start your day!  Maybe you lost it this morning with your kids, your S.O., your boss or someone who reports to you.  We can at any given moment adjust how we see something, modify a behavior, apologize, take out a clean sheet of paper and begin again.    

 I think a lifetime of what we might perceive as “errors” or “mistakes” can be erased in a moment.  I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders as I realized that even a life time of old patterns, beliefs and ways of being can be rectified that simply.    

 It really boils down to the experiences we want to have NOW.  By asking a couple of simple questions – What is possible now, right here?  Where is the joy here?  Do I need to apologize to anyone, besides myself?  How can I see the beauty, the lessons, and build on the past.  As Shakespeare said “what’s past is prologue”…and what that means is what has happened sets the scene for the next steps, the stuff our greatness and immensity will be made from.  Isn’t that awesome?  These life and business experiences are building blocks for our success.  They are the steps up that give us wings to fly.  So soar!    

 So if you have held yourself hostage in any way, have been blocking your own path – move on, be brave – step forward, slay those old dragons and being again – the slate is clean!  (Now don’t go ask for the raise just yet…it might take the “boss” a moment to realize you just turned a corner…)    

 Questions to reflect on – Are you holding anyone hostage for things you think stopped a good business deal?  Did someone offend you today and are you still carrying the baggage with you?  How can you let go and re-create your day or your life?  Is there anything you need to move forward from?  What part of your business needs an eraser?     

 Share your experience – we’d love to hear!    

 Thank you and have a great NEW day!    

Kathy

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“Thoughts are all your own…” Wednesday, Mar 17 2010

…but words are so no more”  – Maude Eckert, Wisdom Teacher

Mrs. Eckert lived to be 100, minus one week.  I had the joy of living with her while I attended my first college. She would leave 3 x 5 index cards in a basket with my mail with bits of wisdom.  She was well advanced in her understanding of quantum physics compared to what we knew at that time.  Her messages about how you think and visualizing what you want for your life didn’t quite register at the time. She also served up practical advice like the title in this post.  These things made more sense so here is some insight on that.

Have you ever come out and said something and later wondered what you were thinking?  Or written something, sent the e-mail and realized you couldn’t get it back!

This message is about reflecting before we “say” something that could have a form of unintended consequences.  Just like thinking negatively affects outcomes, speaking before we consider who and what we are saying to someone determines results.  Both have an impact. 

There are so many mediums for “conversations” today that it becomes wise to consider how we use words.  Words have power and have a lasting impact on readers or listeners. 

A very few quick tips -

• Before you begin crafting your e-mails, your blogs or your newsletters, consider how your audience will receive what you are saying.
• What is the message you want to convey?
• Who will be reading what you write?
• Consider where you are headed on your career path and determine how this will advance your goals.
• Check spelling and incomplete words
• Consider doing a “conversation planner” to lay out what you want to say when it is a face to face “serious” discussion…like asking for a promotion or a raise!
• Speak or write in your authentic voice

“Know thyself” was written over the portal of the antique world.  Over the portal of the new world, “Be thyself” shall be written” – Oscar Wilde

What else do you consider before you blog, or write your newsletter that you can add to this? 

What tips can you offer?

Many thanks,

Kathy

 

 

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Happy Friday :) Friday, Mar 5 2010

Sunset Delight

As we enter the weekend I thought it might be fun to be a bit light and cheery today!  Many of you may be coming off a tough week having made great headway on your projects, goals or quotas.  Others may wonder how Friday got here before you had a chance to even get started…  Whatever your experience, at the end of today, set it all aside and think of the grand possibilities before you for this wonderous March weekend…

Amuse yourself! 

“Amusement is your inner laughter.  It’s about laughing with yourself in what ever condition you find yourself”  Michael J. Tamura

Will you hike, or fish, or camp, walk along a beach or head to the mountains to ski?  Is it a weekend filled with fun family activities, parties and celebrations?  Will you paint or write or get lost in an incredible novel? Or will you go with the energetic flow of your being and choose as your “spirit” moves you…

I like to create a list of possibilities to prevent inaction or indecision.  I have found that by doing that I have options to explore many things which suit any of the many moods I may choose to have.  I also like to get all the “chores” done on Friday so I have the rest of the weekend to focus on creativity, connection and fun.

“Always leave enough time in your life to do something that makes you happy, satisfied, even joyous. That has more of an effect on economic well-being than any other single factor.”  Paul Hawken

Whatever your weekend plans, this brief report is to remind you to step back, relax and enjoy some intimate time with the world around you.  Get to know it and the people you share it with on a different level.  Be in joy for the life you are living!  You are at choice to feel whatever you desire.  Isn’t it a grand time to be alive!

Warm Regards!

Kathy

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Lightening Up Thursday, Feb 11 2010

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A bit on the the light side today – So it’s Thursday and we are on the “downside” of the week – heading into the glorious land of the weekend, recapping the events of the week and setting up the success for our next one…there could be many things you didn’t get done and you could be one who did it all – whatever your state – think of the choice you can make to change your “mind” and alter your inner lightness.

Lightening up
The dark furrowed brow and heavy posture were good indicators we were in for a stern lecture and so we sat up in our seats, bringing ourselves to attention to await our doom!

Does this exaggerated sentence I created conjure up any memories of meetings you have been in or resemble your recent encounter with a client or your boss? Sometimes it just takes you to bring a bit of lightness into a room to change the energy in the space you and those around you occupy.

I had the delight of witnessing this in the following quick take shared by a friend – now give it a minute since it takes a minute or so to “set it up” and it is worth the six minutes you invest to watch it….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jedd2FiZTqM

Isn’t it amazing what and how one person can facilitate a change? Now it may not be appropriate to laugh in the present moment; it may be good to smile though or carry the energy of joy. Everyday we face situations where we are at choice on how we respond or react to them. You and everyone around you will perform better, enjoy your work, and accomplish more if you stay in the moment.

So, lighten up a bit. The world will not end if you don’t do everything a certain way or dot every “i” and cross every “t”. What counts is the result that the company or you are seeking. Well done if you did it all this week!

Try this – just sit at your desk and smile and see what happens for you. Or try a spontaneous smile when someone least expects it (of course at an appropriate moment) and see if you get a “what’s that”…share your authentic moment of joy. Life is by far filled with many serious moments and it is my belief that it’s time to lighten up!

By smiling while you are working you will experience joy as you do the tasks ahead of you…enjoy your journey and spread some cheer!

Till the next time… Kathy

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