Developing Habits to Achieve Deep Satisfaction Monday, Oct 4 2010

Winning Habits for You!

 

Building habits and developing rituals are another means of bringing deep satisfaction into your life. They facilitate accomplishing what you set out to do each day.  Some habits take longer to develop while others can happen easily and without much effort on your part.  All it takes is a willingness to begin.  

Staying on the theme of the prior blog – (finishing what you set out to do each day)these are the habits to remove our “undone” frustrations, help us get out of our own way and establish boundaries that prevent unnecessary distractions from others.  

Here are a few things that will be helpful to examine before you create new habits of accomplishment -  

• First identify what gets in your way.
• Clarify the things you can control.
• List the people you will allow to interrupt your actions and why.
• Develop a list of alternative actions.
• Create boundaries for the people who are frequent “intruders” in your day – for example, what times are you available, when is it ok to contact you etc.

   

Next create a list of “whys” you want to do “it” or for “this” to change.  This is the list you go back to when you are tempted to get off course.  The why is what pulls you back.  

Examine the answers to the list above and find the time of day and all the other particulars of your life and decide the process you will take to begin and stick to your new habit.  

Establish a day to begin your new habit or new ritual.  I was reading “Inner Simplicity” by Elaine St. James and came across her piece on creating self-discipline.  She suggested you get a calendar, buy some gold stars and every day you do what you set out to do, put a gold star on that day.   

At the end of the month you want to have “gold stars” on every day.  If not, to establish a new habit or a new routine, you need to begin again.  But wait - all is not lost – you get to see the number of days you had increased satisfaction and celebrate as you begin again determined for an all-star month! 

What are some of the ways you can gain more satisfaction in your day?  How do you go about establishing a new habit or a daily ritual?  How long do you find it takes before it is “second nature”?  

Next…tolerations and how they affect your life…  

Thanks for reading!  

Kathy

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What would cause you to feel GREAT if you accomplished it today? Friday, Oct 1 2010

I am learning from coaching others that the everyday things that go unfinished frequently add up to frustrate and create a pattern of dissatisfaction in life.  I thought I would begin some shorter blogs to address some of these common situations…one bite at a time. 

What would cause you to feel great if you accomplished “it” today?  

We set intentions of how we want our day to go and often at the end of the day we realize what we set out to do did not get done.  Has this ever happened to you?  How many times have you had outside distractions pull you away from the very thing that if done would make your day? And one last question, have there been times when you were the one who got in your own way for whatever reason?  

All too often we set out to do something and we don’t do it… 

What are the most frequent reasons we don’t get something done? 

I did it again - two hours on e-mail!

 

• Not a preferred task
• Forget
• Focus
• Unplanned Meetings
• Checking e-mails every time one comes in
• Procrastination
• Interruption

 What is your “favorite” method of distraction? 

 A way out – One way out of this common dilemma is to take the action on that “thing” you know would make your day at your earliest opportunity.  Try it.  

 What is something else you might try to make sure the task, purchase, paper, project, conversation, sale, phone call, appointment, etc, is done today?  

Thanks for reading and adding your thoughts!  Have a great day… 

Kathy 

Next…developing habits that help you stay the course.

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Empowerment for Women…Article 1 Thursday, Aug 5 2010

Empowerment  for Women – Article 1

A colleague and I were talking this morning about empowering women to live their life authentically.  We have been working on a series to help women discover, open and empower themselves through the key areas of greatest concern. In today’s discussion we talked about the things that we can do to help our “tribe” in the areas of our passions.  My journey has invoked strong passions regarding empowerment.

 One side of this story told below is after the power has been “lost”; the other is the evolving process of moving into your power. It is transitioning into authenticity where nothing has been lost or given up, but there is the desire to be fully self-expressed. The tools are similar; the experiences differ.

 One is not born a woman, one becomes one” – Simone de Beauvoir

Background and how “power outages” can occur –

Because women are such great care givers, it often translates to yielding who you are to the tasks of life, business, and relationship.  Women have been known to frequently surrender who they are, to put others needs before their own, to give way in order to feel acceptance, to please, to avoid stepping on toes and to protect themselves.  The effects over time of such behaviors can leave women empty shells unable to give without further depletion.  It happens over time without notice until something stirs within, a life altering event occurs or something causes an awakening.

 Society fortunately has favorably altered their viewpoint of women; business has changed to accept with welcoming relief women in increasing numbers at the highest levels.  The glass ceiling has been shattered significantly.  More choices mean entering careers later in life to have family first or flexible hours to accommodate the changing dynamics of the generations. There are more places to shine our light and be who we are created to be, yet I still see increasing numbers of women at all age levels, in various careers and “roles” diminished.  Sometimes it is because of these very opportunities and the dedication it takes to remain in these positions that causes a loss of ones true self in the process.  Delicate balance and life management is vital.

 Becoming Authentic and Symptoms of “Power Outage” -

It is easier to know that you are still evolving and moving into your state of authenticity with awareness and focus, but how do you know if you are the “frog in the pot”?

Symptoms - The women who “fall under this spell” are the ones who look in the mirror and no longer recognize the face before them.  Their audaciousness, vivacity, humor, and lightness is replaced with worn, tired, and vacuous eyes. They may find themselves passed over for promotion instead of getting what they want because they “surrendered” when it was not required.  They may experience chaos regarding their next career choice and they may just be “tired of it all” and want to start over!  They may be victims to their own choices not knowing they can make a different decision.  And through no obvious intent on their part, they may find themselves someplace they never thought they could end up.

“So often I have listened to everyone else’s truth and tried to make it mine.  Now, I am listening deep inside for my own voice, and I am softly, yet firmly, speaking my truth” - Liane Cordes 

I know what it is like to be in your fullest power and to fall to the lowest ebb and dive to places that seemed beyond rising.  And because women are resilient beings we come back stronger, vibrant beings with sirens blaring because we can!

 In our seminar series and our corporate programs we provide tools and processes to integrate into your life to either regain your power or prevent its loss and grow into your authenticity, to retain your vitality, embrace your inner power, stay rejuvenated, take risks, and live life fully.

Thank you for reading – more to come this topic!

Kathy

Summertime Sass Series for Women

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“That’s Why Pencils Have Erasers” Wednesday, May 12 2010

 

 ”That’s Why Pencils Have Erasers” – Donald L. Holdaway   

  

Erase Away!

 Wisdom from my dad…I was speaking with my dad Sunday and I shared a disappointment/perceived life mistake with him and he said “I’m not sure what to say about that; what comes to mind is “that’s why pencils have erasers”.     

 I reflected on his wisdom after the call and thought how perfect!  How many times in our life do we feel the decisions we have made are irreparable.  We look at the consequences, our present circumstances and wonder how we will ever get out of our own way.  His simple wisdom took years off my life in ways I cannot explain, except the perspective of not “seeing” those things any more because they have been erased, created a blank page for a new beginning.  I yelled a big WAHOO and danced!   

Estatic!

 How many times do you wish you could begin again – even just to re-start your day!  Maybe you lost it this morning with your kids, your S.O., your boss or someone who reports to you.  We can at any given moment adjust how we see something, modify a behavior, apologize, take out a clean sheet of paper and begin again.    

 I think a lifetime of what we might perceive as “errors” or “mistakes” can be erased in a moment.  I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders as I realized that even a life time of old patterns, beliefs and ways of being can be rectified that simply.    

 It really boils down to the experiences we want to have NOW.  By asking a couple of simple questions – What is possible now, right here?  Where is the joy here?  Do I need to apologize to anyone, besides myself?  How can I see the beauty, the lessons, and build on the past.  As Shakespeare said “what’s past is prologue”…and what that means is what has happened sets the scene for the next steps, the stuff our greatness and immensity will be made from.  Isn’t that awesome?  These life and business experiences are building blocks for our success.  They are the steps up that give us wings to fly.  So soar!    

 So if you have held yourself hostage in any way, have been blocking your own path – move on, be brave – step forward, slay those old dragons and being again – the slate is clean!  (Now don’t go ask for the raise just yet…it might take the “boss” a moment to realize you just turned a corner…)    

 Questions to reflect on – Are you holding anyone hostage for things you think stopped a good business deal?  Did someone offend you today and are you still carrying the baggage with you?  How can you let go and re-create your day or your life?  Is there anything you need to move forward from?  What part of your business needs an eraser?     

 Share your experience – we’d love to hear!    

 Thank you and have a great NEW day!    

Kathy

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Change Your Thoughts – Change Your World! Tuesday, Feb 23 2010

Change Your Thoughts – Change Your World!

Can you see with new eyes?

The biggest examples in our lives on ways to see things differently are frequently children.  They are limitless in their imaginations and have no boundaries on their thinking.  It is only after exposure to the world through the eyes of an adult that they begin to narrow their perspectives.  This begins the process for the beliefs they take on that shape their decisions and their life. We’ve all been there! Fortunately quantum science is now helping all of us lift the ceiling on what is possible!  So the following is a bit of how we can begin now to see with a new set of eyes.

 Cycles and Patterns – How often do situations in your business or your life seem to repeat themselves? Many times we face the same scenarios in our personal and business life and wonder what it will take to move us to a new level of productivity or effectiveness towards our desired goals. 

 Change Your Thoughts! – New revelations in neuroscience are demonstrating the need to change our thought patterns.  It is even important to notice how we think about our thoughts.  This introduction of awareness combined with new thoughts can begin to help you move through barriers or obstacles.  Awareness of what is also coming out of our sub-conscious is critical to this whole process.  It is said that 85% or more of what takes place in our life comes from the “unconscious” beliefs that automatically run our world.  That’s where the work begins…

 Begin – One action item you can take today is to find just one area that isn’t working and seems to continue to circle around and look at all of your ways of thinking about that issue or situation.  I even recommend writing down all the ways you see it and then begin to imagine what it would be like to have a different result.  Vision it with as much detail as possible and as many emotions as it takes to experience it as real.

 These thought changes serve to help in accomplishing what we want in our business or our personal life.  I have personally seen with clients as well as in my own life how effective just changing one thought and opening up to a new perspective can begin to change the results you seek.  It’s a good practice to hold that new thought for a minimum of 30 days to begin to change the neural pathways and let the new road lead you.

 Resources – There are hundreds of resources on U-tube, a multitude of books and audio programs to help with this process.  A couple of good places to start would be “Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain” by Sharon Begley, “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton and “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” by Dr. Wayne Dyer.  

 A revelation – It recently “sank in” that what makes something happen is coming from the place of it being true.  What this means is to “stand” in this place and “look out” with new eyes and get that it is possible!  Once you have the new outcome in mind you can begin to construct new thought processes. 

Change your actions – Follow that with different actions to deliver this result.  It’s fun to look at things from a new perspective and often can cause an “aha moment” or a great burst of laughter as we see a new way to look at an old problem!  Let me know how this works for you. 

 Enjoy your day! Invite a smile…

Kathy

More About What I Do – for You!

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How do you remain yourself in a “noisy” world? Monday, Feb 15 2010

Staying who you are while being so absorbed in your work and family life is not such an easy process yet incredibly crucial to your well being.

What follows are insights, ideas and a method to bring yourself back to you so everyone wins!

What are all the things that get in your way of connecting with “you” while you flow through your life? Why is it important to connect?

While these may be rhetorical questions, they are also an opportunity to reflect on where you are in any given moment – you know those times when you seem to have some nagging thing inside you that won’t tell you what it is or what it wants yet keeps banging on your “inner door”. It could be that critical moment in a meeting you are leading or in an important conversation where this little voice keeps calling and distracting you. Sometimes a quick solution is to just bring awareness to it and acknowledge its presence.

A longer solution is to evaluate what practices and habits you can develop over time. Seeking harmony and inner balance by practicing meditation, taking exercise classes, doing yoga or other movement practices helps in remaining focused and balanced within. The purpose for these things is to allow life to flow rather than end up “stuck.” It helps prevent running into the proverbial brick wall.

Staying connected also allows you to see possibilities and opportunities instead of feeling overwhelmed at all the things calling for your attention. I also find that when you don’t get to do those things that you suffer from anxiety, feel rushed and sometimes can act out emotions in a less than leader way. (ever had that experience – I have!)

When your life feels chaotic a very quick method of connecting to yourself and taking your own emotional inventory is to walk away from your present task and take five deep breaths, and clear your mind. This way you get to return to what you were doing with more equanimity than you experienced a moment ago.

We go through periods where there is so much demand on our time and so much coming in that we forget to center in ourselves and come from a position of strength. Whether you lead yourself, a small team or an entire organization, these techniques allow focus, clarity and forward movement during times when life balance seems out of reach.

Take a deep breath, get out of the “noise” for just a moment and notice the difference. Next time you are leading a meeting and need to shift the energy to create better solutions ask everyone who is participating to take a few deep breaths, get up and walk around and come back to topic; you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Enjoy your day!
Kathy

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Leading through transitions Tuesday, Feb 9 2010

I thought I would start my posts with some thoughts before moving into the other things that matter. I was thinking this morning about how much I love dark chocolate and how it makes me feel and about savoring the moments. How can you make your moments in your day all “chocolate moments”? What if all you had to do was think about something that makes you smile…that shifts your energy and makes what you are about to do more fun! So think about a chocolate moment before you begin to read…

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Leading Innovation

LEADING THROUGH TRANSITIONS

Today requires a very flexible and adaptive approach in leading your team and creating a positive and safe environment. Leaders who begin to incorporate a diverse set of experts from the varied ages and employee levels will have a greater chance of success than those who continue to use higher level executives only to create new best practices in their organization.

The most innovative companies have begun to include multiple disciplines for creative input, not just on solutions to present dilemmas but also to new endeavors. Tapping into the vast knowledge pool offers the kind of thinking and creativity needed for strategies that are competitive and resilient for the turbulence that will become common for the next few years. We haven’t hit a threshold where we can “settle” into a routine and expect normalcy. Instead it is critical for a company’s success to put a plan in place that allows for rapid deployment of alternative strategies to the ways things have been done in the past.

By tapping into the new knowledge in their organizations, seeking help from knowledgeable sources outside of their organization and remaining flexible, new leaders in similar organizations will emerge. The ones who are sitting on the fence and not investing in their future can be sure the dust will settle around them. Now is the time to be changing things, determining what will work to attract new business and high caliber employees as well as those capable of leading in this future focused environment.

There is richness available to companies today never before available. Combining the knowledge of boomers with the other two generations working today makes for a very fertile environment to solve today’s complex problems and creates new strategies to take them through new challenges and periods of calm.

An extensive article from 2006 entitled “Managing a Multi-Generational Workforce” offers additional wisdom, insight, and relevant strategies. It showed up today in CIO Updates, I’d say this continues to be a “hot topic”!

Till next time,
Kathy

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